I'm finally Recovering

I'm happy to say I'm finally feeling better, almost "good". I was able to move with minimal pain when I awoke this morning. Between allergies, weather changes, and activities done the weekend Nancy was over, it was as if I was made of that snack called fruit leather and I was being twisted and pulled apart. 

I still feel guilt about receiving SSDi at times, mostly those times when I speak to my mother. But then there are times like these when the pain and incapacitation reassure my need for disability. Today is February 12, Nancy was here January 30. It's been a 13 day recuperation period. Just from going out to dinner one night. Well, and wrongly taking my meds that Sunday night. I mixed up the am and the pm. So I was up awwllll night. It was awful. 

I'm going to spend one more day taking it easy, other than my usual kitchen duty. I have my needle felting kit. Even though the wool is of poor quality, it's adequate for a beginner like me. This photo is my first design. 

More about that later. 

Ow!

That's all I can think to say. This has been one of the most painful days in ages. I even wondered if my pain medication is not what it should be.

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of meeting Nancy Bennett. We originally connected through a post I made about Yorkies.  But as we talked, it turned out we have a lot in common. By the end of the weekend we were saying the same things at the same time. I think I've made a good friend.

Aunt Lin is not doing well. 3 heart attacks in three days including being found unresponsive Sunday morning. I will miss her so much. She sounded so good at first, very intentionally telling me she loves me. My response was to break down. Immediately she says don't cry! You celebrate the end of life. I agree but I was being selfish thinking about missing her. I quickly pulled it together. I need to be here for her right now. She says doctor gave here 6 months. She will have hospice once she's home.

I'm sure Aunt Lin's situation adds to my pain today. It's interesting how that works. My physical pain is getting up to a general level, then I talk to aunt Lin - "I'd do it all over again " The pain tries sneaking up on me. It thickens and slows a little bit, but continues on its way. It's paving all the nerves it can reach. Fibromyalgia does a good job. It paves with thick tar. First a

cross my chest I feel the twinges at each site.

Fingers, not sure why but they have a build-up too. It's late and time to say goodnight...

🍪

New DIY Home - With A Kicker!

I'm very excited to tell everyone about Guidecentral. The Guidecentral app is available for just about every operating system. It's a place people from all over the world can share their DIY ideas as well as recipes! Their description in the App Store reads "DIY Projects, Handmade Crafts & How-To's". With 4.5 million members from all over the world there is always something new to learn about.

Now here's the kicker - posting your DIY's will earn you a bit of money! And if people like your DIY and it's very original, you can continue to earn. So many fun crafts and interesting recipes are available, if you are not into teaching you'll enjoy the variety.

No error pages as you click through attempting to sort out the article you're looking for. Connect with Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and email.

Well, enough going on about Guidecentral. I just know how much more fun my days have become because of it. Returning to blogging is also a good side effect for me!

ps. It's also available online at http://www.guidecentr.al ⬅️ That's the part that could trip you up, the address ends with ".al" rather than .com or .org!

At Least I'm Persistent

I feel the urge to blog again. Maybe it will help me somehow. I always have a better outcome when I'm able to have a sounding board or partner in a project. Being a single mom I'm afraid I proved that point already. Details later...

The Meek Shall Inherit ...

the Earth.

Many of us know this quote from the Christian Bible. It has often perplexed me. Who are the meek? What is the real meaning behind these words? Like so many parables in the New Testament attributed to Jesus, this sentence is one to ponder.

Lucky for me (?) I experienced this phrase this morning. I say lucky because I now know what this biblical phrase means and who these people, the meek, are. Let me explain ...

Like so many others, we have been struggling with money. I was having a conversation with a man from a company I make regular payments to. Unfortunately I am behind a payment with this company so I am in contact with them weekly. Today I called only to be told I have no rights until my payments are up to date.

Okay. That's rough. What came next was thee Moment. The moment I felt like Kizzie in the movie Roots. Remember when her lifelong, childhood friend looked at her like she'd never seen her before, ordering Kizzie to get her a drink of water. She also admonished Kizzie for approaching her with familiarity. (Kizzie's response in another story!)

I had gotten angry with the way privileges are taken away when one is behind on this bill. It just is not logical, punishing my child for my being late with a payment. The man on the phone told me I was being ungrateful for the leniency the company is showing me. If I question any of the attitude given to me by the company employees, I am being ungrateful. Wow. I mean, wow. 

I know this is not what the bible teaches us. I was taught you don't kick a person when they are down. But I was being told that I deserved to be treated without compassion, without kindness. One stated, "I could treat you with compassion but what good would it do you?". Another, wow. 

Humbling myself in this situation felt awful. I could not believe what I was hearing. I clung to the words of God, knowing they would keep me afloat during the balance of the conversation.

When the conversation was over I broke down. All of the struggling we do everyday to catch up, get ahead, or just break even the household budget, searching for food to eat that won't slowly kill us. Trying for just a little nutrition. And I am told I am no better than dirt, at least not as good as they are. Not entitled to the same rights they are, not even entitled to compassion, as they seem to be trying to keep me behind with fees and penalties. 

wow ...

It's a Pig's Life

Created using FairyTale Collaboration piece by Marta van Weick at Deviant Scrap.

Marta van Weick has accepted back on her Creative Team. I'm very happy to be active in digital graphics again. It will take a while for that skill set to return in full force, but it's fun to play again. :) Marta's designs and level of activity required are a perfect match for me. Deviant Scrap has wonderfully creative kits to work with.

On the home front I may transfer 14yo dd to another middle school. Her case manager is hostile towards her and me. We have an IEP tomorrow morning. Should be a great meeting. lol I'll write tomorrow.

Enjoy

Created using Fairy Tales Collaboration piece by Marta van Weick at DeviantScrap.com